Where did the love go?
More and more often, as I find myself caught up in the race that pre-meds succumb to, I have found myself asking the question: Where did the love go? When I mean the love, I don’t mean an emotional outpour, I mean the support in the little things in life. The words of encouragement, the pats on the back, the unconditional support.
We have certainly kept our eyes on the goal. I for one, am guilty of my own pet peeve, engaging in the tiny games where I have to one-up the next person. I assure you that it’s Jiminy cricket, always right over my shoulder, watching me. When I see others with the same Jiminy cricket, it infuriates me to no end, but my own? Well, I have come to embrace and accept this hideous part of my soul as my own.
Maybe the attitude has grown scarier and scarier, but I still hope and wish that I can climb myself out of this hole, attend to people’s opinions, fears, and desires more readily, without this dark shadow creeping into my thoughts like an unwanted pest. I will admit, I am deeply afraid that this small pest will grow into a monster and I’ll eventually fail to see the goal for what it is: a goal to do things my own way, to not step on other’s feet, to embrace the challenges of medicine and microbiology as they come. I want to be a wholesome nerd, honest in his opinions, but kind when the time comes for it.
I am a seeker of the rare ideal: positive encouragement, where I can confide in a friend my goals and aspirations and instead of demoralizing and demonizing my hopes, they could help realize a shared future, a promise, a world where we recognize that we all rely on each other. I tentatively make my promise now to you, that I will try not to ever, disparage or put down an idea or dream that you have. I want to be a genuine friend, who can give you the truth and help you reach for the stars.